Shut Your Cake Hole – Throwback Thursday Style #TBT

Good morning, it’s Thursday, and that means I’m going to post a throwback from my earlier posts. Essentially a re-post of an old archived post with new notes and observations. 

Anything added(except grammar and spelling corrections) are marked in blue within the original Post’s text. 

The next post I’m going to revisit is Shut Your Cake Hole . Originally posted on Sep 5, 2016 11:50 AM. The reason I’m revisiting is that it’s easy to let a character run their mouth, and sometimes that’s a good thing.

Shut your cake hole

Blabbermouths are common in the real world. To your face or behind your back. So why not put them in the story? I love a good jerk, the one that makes you grip the book a little harder and hope they get their comeuppance or feel bad for what they’ve done. Whether they know they are loudmouth squealer or not, doesn’t matter. That they stir the pot does matter. A proper bigmouth can change the game and save a floundering storyline.

Here is a little tidbit of mine from a work in progress: (Unrevised version, but it still gets the point across.)

“Good morning Nell, Wendy.” Hank smiled and sat at the meeting room table.
“Oh good morning Hank.” Wendy gushed. She had no problem flirting with the unnaturally handsome Hank. “How was your weekend?”
As usual, Nell sat quietly since Wendy cut off any chance of casting Hank a greeting. Hank finished his tales of golf, beer and a spontaneous trip to the beach without a glance toward Nell. “How about yours, Wendy?”
“Ah same ole, same ole.” She waved her hand. “Now Nell had quite the adventure.” Her sly tone was devastating.
There was zero chance Hank would drop the subject. Nell shot her a what-the-hell look. She knew better than to confide in her friend but did it anyway.
“Oh really.” He slid his gaze to Nell. “Do tell, what could Nell possibly do that has her redder than your blouse Wendy?”
“She had a hot date.” Wendy ignored Nell’s kick to her leg. “Like really hot.” Wendy fanned herself.
Hank tilted his head staring at Nell. She was quiet, mousy and barely noticeable on a good day. All work and no play. Usually. “With whom?”
“Wendy.” Nell’s clenched teeth made her plea to shut up, louder than she meant. The last thing she wanted was Hank, of all people to laugh at her. “Please don’t.”
“Now I have to know.” Hank chuckled.
“She and Barry from accounting went to Point Garrison beach yesterday. Apparently, it has an amazing view.” Wendy waggled her eyebrows.
Nell’s cheeks drained of all color as he smiled broadly, understanding that he was the view.

(In this instance Nell is too shy to say much to the handsome Hank. Wendy’s plan wasn’t clear, did she do this to tease Nell? Did she play matchmaker on purpose or by accident? It all depends on Wendy’s character or who she will be. There was no reason to outline Wendy’s true intentions here, subtlety is key.)

My advice about Chatterboxes.
Use them. Make them make your story tantalizing or spice up a dull storyline. Someone spilling the proverbial beans can start a good conflict. I like to use it as an opportunity to let(or force) someone behave outside their comfort zone. (These types of characters don’t always have to say a lot, they can say little and still be blabbermouths.)

-Sheryl

Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved

 

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Silliness And Seriousness – Throwback Thursday Style #TBT

Good morning, it’s Thursday, and that means I’m going to post a throwback from my earlier posts. Essentially a re-post of an old archived post with new notes and observations. 

Anything added(except grammar and spelling corrections) are marked in blue within the original Post’s text. 

The next post I’m going to revisit is Silliness And Seriousness . Originally posted on Aug 20, 2016 11:48 AM. The reason I’m revisiting is that it’s easy to forget to let a character in a crap situation have some fun.

Silliness And Seriousness

She envied their innocence, longing to go back to when a scraped knee was the most stressful part of the day. ‘Don’t rush to grow up.’ Her mom had said it often. As a young adult, she understood the wisdom of those words too late.©

This character is often being silly and doing things that are typically something a child might do. Why? because growing up doesn’t mean dismissing the essence of Youth completely. She herself is young, yet old enough to see and understand the worldly restraints of adulthood. Life will punch her in the teeth and kick her when she’s down, yet she will hold onto the things that make her and others smile. Joy in life, the shadows of youth that keep her from losing herself in an already too serious world.  She doesn’t see herself this way, but others in the story do.

I wrote her this way to allow for a humor break from the drama, danger, and violence. It gives a great opportunity for character interaction. The overly serious and stoic friend might find her enthusiasm annoying. He may or may not comment on it. He could find it charming and pay more attention to her. Or it could get her into trouble when she needs to focus. (Having a strong personality trait is important for the main characters IMO, it allows for growth one way or another.)

In my life, I have come across adults who range from silly and carefree to starchy and unendingly serious. The diversity of maturity is present in the real world so I put it in my characters. (People watching is a wealth of information. People are random. I love seeing how different people react to the same thing.)

My advice about being silly or serious.

Everyone was young once, even an adult character in a book. Who they were is who they are. Silliness and seriousness have their place, I don’t think it always has to be the obvious one. (Still true, I would add that every character needs a sliding scale of silliness and seriousness. Nobody is 100% one way. A man who never laughs at jokes or silly antics may howl at puns or “Dad jokes.” Don’t forget to have some fun.)

-Sheryl

Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved

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The FAB Pencil – Throwback Thursday Style #TBT

Good morning, it’s Thursday, and that means I’m going to post a throwback from my earlier posts. Essentially a re-post of an old archived post with new notes and observations. 

Anything added(except grammar and spelling corrections) are marked in blue within the original Post’s text. 

The next post I’m going to revisit is The FAB Pencil . Originally posted on Sep 6, 2016 10:26 AM. The reason I’m revisiting is that this is good practice and can be fun.

The FAB Pencil

What’s so FAB about it? It’s just a lame pencil.

Or is it? I have gone through some nifty retail sales training. You know the kind that teaches you to sell your soul to the devil to make the sale. Up-sell, up-sell, up-sell.

I no longer wonder how they do it, how they smoothly transition you from buying the watch to including the warranty, the battery replacement program, the matching belt and shiny new car. I don’t wonder, because I know.

FAB Feature Advantage Benefit. Oddly, this applies nicely to describing something in writing. The lesson is to take an ordinary item say… a super lame ordinary No.2 pencil and show the customer something they can see, touch or smell about it. Then explain the advantage of the feature and smoothly move into how it benefits the customer.

The feature: it has No.2 lead
The advantage: No.2 writes smoothly
The benefit: consistent writing

Feature: built-in eraser
Advantage: erases efficiently
Benefit: saves time having to search for an eraser

F: seamless wood design
A: easy to sharpen
B: no slivers or sharp bits

F: bright yellow paint
A: easy to see
B: hard to lose

These things seem obvious, right? Maybe, but now they are clearly stuck in your head. How does this apply to describe items in a story? If you give a purpose to an item then it makes sense. If it’s horribly random then its distracting to the reader. If anything, it will help give an object depth. Even a yawn-worthy pencil. I do this with items my characters interact with that are important or interesting.

Sasha plopped the yellow pencil’s eraser end in her mouth. Scrunching her face she removed it instantly. The rubbed-rubber taste turned her stomach and reminded her of the party she went to instead of studying. She set the flattened tip to the paper to mark her answer. Only to rub it out second-guessing herself again.

Sasha jumped when the bell rang. She stared wide-eyed at the paper, a test failed before it was marked. Less than half the questions answered. Gripping the smooth pencil in her hands, she tightened her grip, snapping the light wood easily.

(I did a few edits on this one, the grammar was lacking and I was even missing a word. Just goes to show with a lot of practice and effort we grow and learn more every day.)

My advice about describing things.
Instead of just blurting out what it is with a standard ‘it’s blue’ description, dig deeper and see what it has to offer the user then the interaction between the object and user is more fluid. Be cautious that you don’t go overboard describing an item to the point of excess. Less is more. (I would now add Less is more, if that less is quality.)

-Sheryl

Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved

Don’t forget to check out, share and follow the new daily prompt I host. Today’s Prompt is: Adulation

 

Switch It Up, And Swap It Out. – Throwback Thursday Style #TBT

Good morning, it’s Thursday, and that means I’m going to post a throwback from my earlier posts. Essentially a re-post of an old archived post with new notes and observations. 

Anything added(except grammar and spelling corrections) are marked in blue within the original Post’s text. 

The next post I’m going to revisit is, Switch It Up, And Swap It Out . Originally posted on Sep 2, 2016, 8:53 AM. The reason I’m revisiting is that this was one of my favorite posts and it’s still relevant.

Switch It Up, And Swap It Out.

“If you don’t read it, you will never know how it all begins and how it ends. Not to mention all the good stuff in the middle.” -SLM

I have been talking a lot about emotions and making people feel them in my writing. People run on emotions so putting them in writing is important as long as it doesn’t become eye-rolling melodramatic. I read a book recently that made me bawl my eyes out. The kicker is that the story that made me so upset wasn’t even about the main characters. It was a side story of characters not even active in the book. Awesome.

Recently a friend told me she became emotional and teary at a scene in my book she is proofing. I told her that was a huge compliment. Am I sorry she cried? No, because eliciting emotions is what I strive for. (Since this I’ve written more stories and my current one Prophecy Ink has received reviews that it brought out feelings for and toward characters.)

Sometimes the obvious isn’t, just as the subtle can be blatant. Even if I know what is coming, maybe I don’t. I have had moments when I’m writing when all of a sudden I look at the screen and I think, holy that would be crazier if… And then I change it up. Sometimes it’s a character swap, something designed for someone would be more impactful for another. Other times it’s a scene change. The library was the scenario but I swap it out for a dog treat bakery. If it can lead to a better conversation or something funny, I tend to lean to the unusual.

This example is not from my book, but from a collection of bits and pieces for another.

Side by side, Yava, and Theo lay facing each other, the melodious sound of Mary Lou Williams softly filling the small sterile room. It has been a day since Yava last spoke; too weak for words.
“They say, my love, that your entire life flashes before your eyes.” Theo brushed a stray wisp of white hair from her cheek with a shaky hand. “The days of youth, the pesky teens, dancing the night away, your first kiss, your first love.”
The corner of Yava’s mouth curled and relaxed.
Theo sighed softly. “Ah the wedding, making love, all those crazy kids. The fights and makeup sex. The cool nights and days in the sun. Our kids growing up, moving out and getting married. All the wee grandbabies have grown up. Some with their own tots.”
Tears pooled in her eyes and her lips pressed tightly together.
“Oh my love, my Yava, we have lived, truly lived have we not?”
“Yes, Theo darling.” She let her unchecked tears fall to the pillow. “No life has been filled as much as ours.” She rubbed her thumb over his fingers clasped in her hand.
A deep long exhale, the last blink of those sky-blue eyes etched forever in her mind as he slipped from the world to greet the flash of his life.

Originally, Yarva was the one to pass on. However, as I got to the end I thought, what if she doesn’t?  (Because I’m in edit and revise mode I changed the original story a little. Mostly because I can’t help myself.)

My advice about switching it up.
Don’t be afraid to try out a different angle or outcome. Write both or more and see what tugs at your emotions. Give it to someone else and see what they have to say. (This is still the advice I would give. I’ve completely rewritten chapters to make a scenario different or even change the character or outcome. It can make a dull scene so much better.)

-Sheryl

Don’t forget to check out and follow the new daily prompt. Today’s Prompt is: Adulation

 

Oops! What did I just say? – Throwback Thursday Style #TBT

Good morning, it’s Thursday, and that means I’m going to post a throwback from my earlier posts. Essentially a re-post of an old archived post with new notes and observations. 

Anything added(except grammar and spelling corrections) are marked in blue within the original Post’s text. 

The next post I’m going to revisit is, Oops! What did I just say? .  Originally posted on Aug 27, 2016, 2:00 PM. The reason I’m revisiting is that this was one of my favorite posts and it’s still relevant.

Oops! What did I just say?

The other day I was reading a book written by a very well known author. I was enjoying the chapter and my eyes tripped on a word and the story ground to a halt. There was a typo. A word spelled correctly, but not the correct word.  I thought “Huh, even the best make Mistakes .” That is because they are human, just like me. I smiled and kept reading.

(I have since found three more “oops” errors in popular published books.)

My proofreaders and I have found typos in my book. There are probably still a bunch in there. I’ve talked about this before in revision posts, but I thought I’d show an example this time.  (There were A LOT of them. In my new book too. I was just editing and found one. I had the instead of they. These types of errors are easy to do and easier to miss.)

Example:

Sasha turned and looked over her shoulder at the reflection in the mirror. The tight red dress made her ass look phenomenal. Billy is going to love it for sure. Their second date. Running her hands over the soft supple fabric, he imagined Billy doing the same.

Fastest sex change in history 😉 also IMO the easiest typo to make.

Billy cleared his throat as the waiter approached.
“Are you ready to order?” The waiter looked at Sasha.
Sasha smiled up at the waiter. “Yes, I’ll have the Chicken Primavera.”
“Very good and for you sir?”
Billy nodded at the menu. “I’ll have the Anus steak medium rare, the spring vegetables instead of the potatoes please.”
“Excellent choice sir.”

Oops! I’m not sure what kind of restaurant Billy took Sasha to, but I hope they at least serve local beef.
In revision, I might be horrified and fix that mistake or take the opportunity to work it in. (I still like to take a moment and see if it can make for funny dialogue. Some of the best comedic moments are by accident. Even in real life. My son says the most entertaining things and mixes up words. I try to write them down because sometimes I laugh so hard it hurts.)

“Excellent choice sir.” The polite waiter took their menus and shuffled off quickly.
Sasha snickered behind her hand.
“What?” Billy furrowed his brow.
“I know you want a piece of ass Billy, but I figured you could at least wait until after dinner.”
Billy’s puzzled frown lasted only a moment before his face went red and he laughed.

(I still find mistakes like this in dialog funny. It happens in real life, and if like me, you have a friend that spoonerisms often or uses the wrong word, why not have a character prone to it too? Just limit it to one character and not all the time. Too much will become tedious and repetitive quickly. Save perfection for the narrative, let your characters mess up sometimes.)

My advice about mistakes.

You will make them. They can be fixed. Before you do, think about it, can it become part of the story? Defiantly have someone else review your work, they might catch a typo you passed by several times because you wrote it in the first place.

-Sheryl

Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved

Did You Smell That? – Throwback Thursday Style #TBT

Good morning, it’s Thursday, and that means I’m going to post a throwback from my earlier posts. Essentially a re-post of an old archived post with new notes and observations. 

Anything added(except grammar and spelling corrections) are marked in blue within the original Post’s text. 

The second post I’m going to revisit is, Did You Smell That? .  Originally posted on Aug 26, 2016, 8:04 AM. The reason I’m revisiting is that this was one of my favorite posts and it’s still relevant.

My one weakness when setting a scene is that I forget to write in the smell. Or if I do, it’s hasty and obvious. Like. ‘He smelled pie.’  or  ‘She smelled wet dog.’

(This is still a weakness, I still have to stop and remind myself to add the smells into a scene. This is especially important in first perspective writing.)

That’s what revision’s for.

However, when I read a book, and the described smells appear too often, overdone or frankly unimaginable, I squint at the pages and no longer can I smell them in my mind. 

(Describing is a fine line. It is helpful to read the paragraph aloud or have someone read it aloud to you or just to themselves. It will help identify superfluous descriptives.)

Without:
Sasha made her way through the busy open-air market to buy the ingredients needed for dinner and dessert. She wanted to impress. She stopped in her tracks on the busy sidewalk upon seeing the ripe peaches. She planned to make chocolate cake. She couldn’t resist the fresh peaches and bought the basket of them. The cobbler would be better than cake.

With:
The aroma of fresh baked bread, pies, herbs, and meats of various types being cooked wafted up to greet her. Sasha loved the open-air market in the morning. She made her way through the bustling sidewalk purchasing the ingredients she needed for dinner and dessert. She stopped in her tracks on beside a busy stall as the sweet scent of sun-warmed ripe peaches hit her nose. She planned to make chocolate cake, that idea faded as she picked up the fuzzy red and orange fruit and held it to her nose. With her mouth-watering, she bought a basket. Her grandma’s cobbler would impress better than cake.

I do this all the time, write a scene and forget to make it appeal to the imaginary senses. It usually means I was hasty and to make it right it will add words. 

(I’m getting better at this, but I still forget or neglect descriptions. It is easier to add too much in at first and edit it down to a reasonable amount than it is to search and add descriptions later. If my brain doesn’t have time, I’ll leave an editing mark in the spot. [xxx add descriptions] then later I can use the find feature to go back or I’ll notices that block and fix as I revise.)

Without:
Tanya walked across the lawn in her bare feet. The feeling of the long cool grass soothing her tired, battered soul. It had been a long day of nothing going right. She stepped to the sidewalk, reached into the mailbox and took out the stack of junk mail and bills. With a sigh, she turned and set her foot down in the still warm dog poo. “You have got to be fu-” She bit her tongue as a mother and toddler in a stroller went by.

With:
Tanya walked barefoot across the lawn. The long cool grass soothed her tired, battered soul. It had been a long day of nothing going right. She stepped across the sun-warm sidewalk, reached into the mailbox and removed the junk mail and bills. With a sigh, she turned to go back and set her foot down in a pile of still warm dog poo hidden in the grass. The pungent odor hit her nostrils as it squished up between her toes.
“You have got to be fu-” She bit her tongue as a mother and toddler in a stroller went by.

It’s not much, but it’s enough to engage my memory of the smell. Everyone knows what things smell like so there is no point dragging out the description of the scent, a vague or short direct reference is enough.

(The only time vague is good, is if it is a common smell like dog poo or orange juice. If it’s something less common, a good description or comparison is best. Such as when describing a perfume, room or food. Not all foods are common and the more complex the food, the better the description should be. However, if the item is not critical to the chapter or plot don’t dwell too much. You want to set the entire scene not focus on the one thing.)

My advice about sniffing out smells.
People don’t smell things constantly every moment of every day and remark on them mentally or verbally. The unpleasant smell of rotting fish will cause a nose to wrinkle, fresh cut onions may bring tears to the eye. Make the character experiences it and therefore the reader. Smell is a great way to set the scene, evoke an emotion or liven up a dull paragraph/scene. 

-Sheryl

Other related posts

Oops! What did I just say?

That sounds complicated

Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved

Tulips In July – Writing Advice, Throwback Thursday Style #TBT

Good morning, it’s Thursday, and that means I’m going to post a throwback from my earlier posts. Essentially a re-post of an old archived post. 

I’m not going to just repost an old post, I’m going to revise it and edit it as well. Make it fresher and add some new perspective as I’ve come a long way since. It’s fitting that today’s daily word prompt (Sadly the last) is Retrospective. I’ve started looking back to old posts to see how they compare now with all I’ve learned since. I found it interesting and thought that I might share that part of my journey too. Anything added(except grammar and spelling corrections) are marked in blue within the original Post’s text. 

The first post I’m going to revisit is Tulips In July. Originally posted on Aug 22, 2016, 9:52 AM.

The story I wrote takes place in “real time” by that I mean an imagined year of the current year. (I have since learned this is a genre called Urban Fantasy) I was about halfway through when I realized to interact with the world around them I needed to know exactly what day of the year it is. It would be silly to have them looking at tulips in July. It became apparent that I needed to keep track of time as well as the characters.

(The same is true for my new book Prophecy, it is also an Urban Fantasy and relies on the realism of the setting.)

So I printed out a generic calendar from about ten years from now. It isn’t important that I say it’s April 17th, but it is important to stay on track.

(My newest story doesn’t have a calendar, I used a spreadsheet with the days of the week since it takes place in a three-week span.)

As I went back to the beginning, I wrote down any significant plot events on the calendar. As I moved forward, I discovered that by the end of the book, the story was off by two weeks. In the beginning, I eluded how long they would be working for. Instead of changing the conversation that outlined the length of the summer job, I wrote the difference in. It gave me the opportunity to add a little more dynamic to the mystery that I hadn’t thought about before. (Adding in foreshadows as an afterthought is easy to do as long as it fits into the story and doesn’t look like it was just tossed in randomly.) Fifty days in, someone in charge slips up and gives the protagonist has a very large clue. This is an important event. That clue leads her quickly to solve the grand mystery just in time. I actually planned it to be that day, so if I refer back, it’s an easy number to remember.

(With the new story, I kept track of the timeline from the start. This made it easier to keep on schedule. However, I realized quickly that I had one character working seven days a week and had to go back to fix that. Oops.)

Having a timeline or calendar of events made things much easier. I can refer back to it or even have the characters refer back. At one point, the number of days is actually mentioned. If a reader were to follow along that carefully, they would find it accurate. Even though it is a fantasy, some reality is required.

Since I wrote this, I have learned that keeping track of time and the day of the week is very important. Aside from smelling Tulips in July, it’s important for clothing descriptions, weather interactions, and things like bar nights or weddings on a Sunday. 

My advice about timelines

Use them even if it’s not important it’s a fantastic way to keep track of events or interactions that drive the story. Did Joe make the ominous phone call before or after he got the internship? If I need to check, I can refer to a calendar and not have to flip back chapters to find it if I forget. 

-Sheryl

Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved

So there it is, the subject is as relevant today as it was the first day I wrote this almost two years ago. (Seriously? two years? Holy Moly.) Calendar style timelines are helpful, whether they are an actual calendar, a giant chart on a wall, a day by day list or a crayon drawing on a paper placemat. It’s a good idea. Thanks for reading, I hope you found some of this information useful, if not new, then I hope you didn’t mind the reminder.

Retrospective

Word Counts By Numbers

I often talk about word count. It’s a big deal for me because I’m wordy. My newest book, Prophecy, is not a wordy book! Yup, that’s right I managed to keep it within industry standard.
According to Wikipedia, these are the classifications are Novel, Novella, Novelette, and short story.

Classification Word count

Novel 40,000 words or over
Novella 17,500 to 39,999 words
Novelette 7,500 to 17,499 words
Short story under 7,500 words

I talk more in-depth about this in Stories Classified

These are the basic classifications of what a book is by word count. Novels are 40,000 +, so what does that mean? Well simply put each genre and subgenre have their own word count limits. This number varies greatly and seems to change the range values.
Professional editors and publishers told me that when in doubt, get it or keep it to mid or bottom of the range. (For the first novel)

Science fiction between 80,000 to 125,000
YA (Young adult) 45,000 to 80,000 (Midrange is best for this genre)
Horror 80,000 to 100,000
Historical fiction/romance 90,000 to 100,000
General Fiction/Literary Fiction/New adult 75,000 to 110,000 words max 70,000 is considered too short for a first-time author/published novel.
Science Fiction and Fantasy 100,000 words to 115,000 (Some say 125,000)
Mystery novels 40,000 to 80,000 words. This is a genre of disagreement on numbers; I’ve seen the recommendation for a thriller or mystery 90,000 to 100,000. I would keep it midrange or close to 80,000 to be safe.

Now I bet someone rushed to a shelf to pull a book or ten down to dispute the numbers. There are always exceptions to the rules (The lucky ones or not a first novel) or they are older books from older standards. Times are tough and the market is flooded with new authors looking to have their books published.

So what about… let’s say, Harry Potter? Some of those young adult books were well over the limit. Yes, they were but not the first one. In addition, JK struggled for years to get it published. Once she gained the footing in the industry and had a book under her belt, she could increase the word count without worrying about the limitations.

The limits are guidelines and they can be ignored. I learned from my own experience that it’s not wise to disregard time-tested advice and limits set by those who will actually be judging your work and deciding if it’s worth their time.

Now back to my new book. It is a TREAT to revise and edit a book without the gloomy cloud of ‘cut, cut and cut’ over my head. I’m not worried about trimming the fat (Hopefully, it’s not there).

It is currently at 73324 and I have room to fix and embellish some scenes without sweating the numbers. For the first time, I have to add words, which is super exciting for me. I still have to finish the filter word edit, but I’ll talk about that another time.

My advice about Word Count
While it’s important to keep your word count within the limits it’s more important to make every word count. After all, we want to keep the reader’s interest.

-Sheryl

Other Word Count related posts

The “word count” down.

Redundantly Redundant Redundancies

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