Wrong Article With Set Expression – Grammar #6

Adjective Instead Of An Adverb 1

If you missed a previous post on Grammar, simply click on the purple crossed-out title in the list below to see that post.

Within Grammar, here are the most common issues I had in my story:

1. Missing Article .
2. 
Redundant preposition .
3. 
Confused preposition .
4. 
Object instead of a subject pronoun .
5.
 Adjective instead of an adverb .
6. Wrong article with set expression
7. Incorrect use of progressive tense
8. Incorrect noun form

The wrong article with a set expression, this means that a set expression requires a definite article. Articles are words like an, a, the, his, my, our, very and each, as discussed in “Missing Article”. Instead of it is missing, in this case, the wrong one is being used.

grammar7

Here are some generic examples:

Incorrect: A trouble is that I forgot what to do.
Correct: The trouble is that I forgot what to do.

Incorrect: Be ready to go at the moment’s notice.
Correct: Be ready to go at a moment’s notice.

I found a few of these in my draft. Honestly, I saw them before the program pointed them out. Wrong articles make the sentence choppy or flow weirdly. Some like “Pass time” and “Pass the time” did slip by my proofread, so I included that one for that reason.

Incorrect: Get that done by end of the day and I’ll give you a bonus.

Correct: Get that done by the end of the day and I’ll give you a bonus.

Incorrect: We were limited to what we could do to pass time.

Correct: We were limited to what we could do to pass the time.

In my head, I wrote ‘making the list’ and read it again as fine but once it was pointed out that it’s not grammatically correct I saw the difference.

Incorrect: I sat there making the list.

Correct: I sat there making a list.

The same thing happened with the next one, once it was pointed out I saw the problem. It’s narration so it’s important that it reads properly.

Incorrect: I took the moment to let that sink in.

Correct: I took a moment to let that sink in.

NOne of these errors were in any dialogue where I would expect to find them. I did have a fair number of the wrong article with a set expression’s, most were typos and easily caught. Some did a good job of hiding from me.

 

My advice about the wrong article with a set expression:

It’s not the end of the world to make mistakes. I actually found one of these in a printed published book. Everyone makes mistakes, it’s our job to minimize the number of them by finding and fixing them. 

-Sheryl

Copyright © 2018 All rights reserved

Adjective Instead Of An Adverb – Grammar #5

Adjective Instead Of An Adverb

If you missed a previous post on Grammar, simply click on the purple crossed-out title in the list below to see that post.

Within Grammar here are the most common issues I had in my story:

1. Missing Article .
2. 
Redundant preposition .
3. 
Confused preposition .
4. 
Object instead of a subject pronoun .
5. Adjective instead of an adverb
6. Wrong article with set expression
7. Incorrect use of progressive tense
8. Incorrect noun form

 

Adjective instead of an adverb. I had a lot of these little beasts pop up, some are punctuation errors others are me simply being me.

Adjectives only modify nouns and pronouns.
Adverbs modify verbs, adjectives, and other adverbs. An adverb is needed if you are describing when, where, or how.

I know what you’re going to say Adverbs? Really didn’t Steven King say “The road to hell is paved with adverbs?” Yes, they are not to be used all the time, but some sentences and instances require them. Sometimes the sentence flow or message needs an adverb. While it’s good to limit (Severely limit) the use of them.

I’m totally okay with some Adverbs in dialogue because people use them in dialogue every day.

Now let’s look at my mistakes from my draft of Prophecy Ink.

grammar5

In my head, fresh worked, however, it’s in narrative so perfect grammar is necessary. The correction does sound much better.

We ordered simple cups of freshly brewed coffee.

The following are four more examples from my draft along with the suggested changes.

grammar6

I’ll break them down and show how I would change them if not the exact suggestion and why.

IncorrectGood tell them if they see us to leave us alone.”

I didn’t want to change it to: “Well tell them if they see us to leave us alone.” That isn’t how this character would talk. I wanted her to say ‘good’ so in this case, it was a punctuation problem a simple comma fixed the problem.

Winner:  “Good, tell them if they see us to leave us alone.”

Here is the next example.

Incorrect “That explains why you woke frantic.”

Correct “That explains why you woke frantically.”

Now I don’t like the ‘correct’ version it doesn’t feel right, so I changed the sentence altogether.

Winner:  “That explains why you were frantic when you woke.”

Not great for reducing word count but this sounds and reads much better.

Incorrect I sat quiet the entire time.

Correct I sat quietly the entire time.

Now there is a grammar error for incorrect adverb placement so it will be changed to this:

Correct I sat the entire time quietly.

That second correction was perfect. It didn’t change the sentence meaning and is proper grammar.

Incorrect It was odd paired with cheese.

Correct It was oddly paired with cheese.

I don’t like either, to be honest. My original or the suggested correction. I think I may have taken this out entirely. But if I were to correct it, here it is.

Winner: It was an odd thing to pair with cheese.  

Revision can be tedious, but when I find a crap sentence and I can make it shine or simplify and correct it, I know it is making my story better.

My advice about Adjective instead of an adverb:

Sometimes one word needs to be changed, and it makes the sentence perfect. Sometimes it shows that the entire sentence is lackluster and could use a bit of polishing up. If I keep them it’s either in dialogue or absolutely necessary to the quality of the sentence. 

-Sheryl

Copyright © 2018 All rights reserved

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Object Instead Of A Subject Pronoun – Grammar #4

I know the title of this blog is a big mouthful. If you missed a previous post on Grammar, simply click on the purple crossed-out title in the list below to see that post.

Within Grammar here are the most common issues I had in my story:

1. Missing Articles .
2. 
Redundant preposition .
3. 
Confused preposition .
4. Object instead of a subject pronoun
5. Adjective instead of an adverb
6. Wrong article with set expression
7. Incorrect use of progressive tense
8. Incorrect noun form

 

Object instead of a subject pronoun. I guess I should start by explaining what this is. A subject personal pronoun such as; she, he, you, we, it, I and they. They are the subject of the sentence, clause subject or subject complement. The object(direct, indirect or the object of a preposition) of a sentence is; her, him, us, it, them, you and me. I think it’s easier to understand through examples. I think they are easy to spot and these are the ones that are often used in writing as ways a mother or teacher ‘nags’ a child.

Generic examples:

Incorrect Tony and me will attend the wedding.
Correct Tony and I will attend the wedding.

Incorrect The rule says that them are to be collected.
Correct The rule says that they are to be collected.

I only had one of these to use as an example from Prophecy Ink.

grammar4

Here is where I always say to use a grammar program with caution. The grammar isn’t the issue here. it’s punctuation.

I would rewrite this sentence even though wondered is a ‘filter word’. If I allowed myself to keep this sentence it would look like this now:

Fresh guilt bubbled over as I wondered why me.

Without the filter, word wondered or wonder, which is overused in writing.

The words ‘why me’ repeated in my mind as fresh guilt bubbled over inside me.

When read aloud these are clear to see. Still, sometimes I mix them up, probably because I don’t have anyone nagging me about I versus me.

My advice about object instead of a subject pronoun:

It really is a mouthful for a tiny error. Look carefully before fixing it to make sure the sentence still makes sense. Don’t forget to watch out for those pesky filter words.

-Sheryl

Copyright © 2018 All rights reserved

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Confused Preposition – Grammar #3

Confused Preposition

As I edit and revise my writing I come across mistakes. Some are ones I know are simply typos and some are mistakes that I know are wrong but not why they’re wrong.  If you missed a previous post on Grammar, simply click on the purple crossed-out title in the list below to see that post.

Within Grammar here are the most common issues I had in my story:

1. Missing Article .
2.
Redundant preposition .
3. Confused preposition
4. Object instead of a subject pronoun
5. Adjective instead of an adverb
6. Wrong article with set expression


7. Incorrect use of progressive tense
8. Incorrect noun form

 

In the last post, I featured Redundant preposition. In this post, I’m going to confuse things a bit with a confused proposition.

Confused prepositions are words that are incorrect in the context and though in the writer’s mind it may read just fine, the reader might be confused by what is trying to be expressed.

Here are two generic examples before I get to the ones I made in my draft.

Incorrect The store is in the far side of the street.
Correct The store is on the far side of the street.

Incorrect Anne ran in the hall to get away from Curt.
Correct Anne ran into the hall to get away from Curt.

Here are some I found. Now when I go through my draft I often find ‘grammar’ errors that point me toward a larger problem. Sometimes the error doesn’t need to be fixed, the entire sentence does.

grammar3.jpg

This sentence is out of context. She is rubbing a painful mark on her arm. However, changing it to the ‘suggested’ correction of ‘on’ completely changes the sentence and now it wouldn’t fit in.  “I rubbed it through my shirt.” Now could be read as rubbing something literally through the shirt. I ended up changing this one altogether. ‘I rubbed my arm that is covered by my shirtsleeve.’

Incorrect I got up and looked out to the open office area.
Correct I got up and looked out at the open office area.

That makes sense so I kept the suggested correction. On to example number two.

Incorrect I was rolled to my back.
Correct I was rolled onto my back.

Again the correction made sense and so I kept it. Here is another:

Incorrect Years if I’m honest to myself.
Correct Years if I’m honest with myself.

I have no idea how I put ‘to’ there instead of ‘with’… I’m shaking my head on that one. Here is my last example:

Incorrect He gestured for me to walk with him around the crowd.
Correct He gestured for me to walk with him through the crowd.

The “correct” statement here is actually incorrect given what is actually happening. They are avoiding the crowd and walked around it. I did change this if only because the sentence is super awkward. Another moment of a grammar error pointing out a much larger problem. Around is actually the wrong word since around suggests they went around it but no destination was given so around and around they go for no purpose.

Winner: Karl gestured for me to follow him to avoid the crowd.

 

My advice about confused prepositions:

Nobody likes to be confused, especially in a sentence. Take the opportunity to look at an error more broadly and see if the problem isn’t just one word that needs to be fixed, how is the rest of the sentence?

-Sheryl

Copyright © 2018 All rights reserved

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Redundant Preposition – Grammar #2

Redundant Preposition2

Grammar is something I know I need help with. While I’m good, I’m not perfect. In my last post, I talked about Missing articles. Now I’ll talk about Redundant Preposition. If you missed a previous post on Grammar, simply click on the purple crossed-out title in the list below to see that post.

Within Grammar here are the most common issues I had in my story:

1. Missing Article
2. Redundant preposition
3. Confused preposition
4. Object instead of a subject pronoun
5. Adjective instead of an adverb
6. Wrong article with set expression
7. Incorrect use of progressive tense
8. Incorrect noun form

So I bet there is someone out there saying what the Bleepity-bleep is a Preposition? There are some that know what it is. Either way here is what it is for those that don’t know, and a reminder for those that do know.

Prepositions in writing are function words that show how a noun or a noun phrase relates to the sentence. They are words such as, on, after, since, or in. Two prepositions can be used in a row, for example, “From behind the bush” but most often a second preposition is totally unnecessary, “Alongside of the house.”

Here are some generic examples before I show you some redundant prepositions I plunked into my story.

Incorrect Everyone except from Tony ate spaghetti.
Correct Everyone except Tony ate spaghetti.

Incorrect The fish swam alongside of the boat.
Correct The fish swam alongside the boat.

Now here are two Redundant prepositions I found in my draft.

grammar2

Incorrect I pulled at the white surgical tape.
Correct I pulled the white surgical tape.

For this one, I originally wanted to express that she was pulling on or at the tape. So I changed it to this. I pulled and picked at the white surgical tape.

Incorrect Mike ordered in pizza.
Correct Mike ordered pizza.

Now in this situation, I actually wanted to indicate the pizza was being ordered to the house. So I changed it to, Mike ordered pizza delivery.

My advice about redundant prepositions:

They happen, they also don’t belong. It was easy to remove them or restructure the sentence to make what I was trying to say more clear to the reader. 

-Sheryl

Copyright © 2018 All rights reserved

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Missing Articles – Grammar #1

Missing Articles

Grammar. I have never professed that I’m a grammar expert. I’ve learned a lot since I started my journey with BiaAtlas. I’m still learning, and I’m sharing what I’ve learned. Some of it is a refresher, a revisit to the things I already know or once knew but forgot. With my draft of about 80000, I had 212 grammar issues. Most of which were typos.Grammerly 1Contextual Spelling: 349
Grammer: 212
Punctuation: 999+ (Um that’s embarrassing)
Sentence Structure: 19
Style: 127
Vocabulary Enhancement: 267

Within Grammar here are the most common issues I had in my story:

1. Missing Article
2. Redundant preposition
3. Confused preposition
4. Object instead of a subject pronoun
5. Adjective instead of an adverb
6. Wrong article with set expression
7. Incorrect use of progressive tense
8. Incorrect noun form

There were more issues than the ones I’m listing. However, these were the most common and the ones I’ll post about.

First up is Missing Article. Articles are words such as a, an, or the. They are determiners; you can also use names, my, his, and our. Quantifiers such as ‘each’ and ‘every’ can also be used.

Incorrect I left glass on desk.
Correct I left a glass on the desk.
Correct I left the glass on a desk.
Correct I left Bob’s glass on his desk.
Correct I left my glass on her desk.

Okay so if I read a sentence aloud that is missing the article, it’s easy to find because it is missing… the article. Here are some examples from my book that I made.

grammar1

Pain was the first thing that hit.

The Grammarly correction for this one is to add the article ‘the.’ The suggestion is totally fine by me, so I made that change.

The pain was the first thing that hit.

In my head, the next sentence sounds fine, but it is missing the article ‘a’ to be correct. When added it sounds much better.

It couldn’t be coincidence.

It couldn’t be a coincidence.

This one is dialogue. I give myself some wiggle room with conversation.

“Does it come with conversation?”

It is exactly what I want the character to say, and It doesn’t make sense to correct it by adding the article. “Does it come with a conversation?” or “Does it come with the conversation?” The only time I will ignore a grammar issue is if it’s in dialogue and that is how the character would talk. This practice is used carefully, for the most part, people in books should have good grammar, a reader will pick up on mistakes if they are too obvious. Sometimes I have a character that has a quirk, uses jargon or local dialect. Grammar checkers hate these character, and that’s okay. However, if all characters have bad grammar, the reader will not enjoy the story.

Most of the time a missing article is just me typing too fast.

Without hesitation, I asked for beer

Without hesitation, I asked for a beer. Or Without hesitation, I asked for the beer.

In this situation, I would use the article ‘a’ in this sentence.

This last sentence was edited out completely in the final draft and worked into a better sentence. However, if I were to keep it this is the fix:

He kept up pace with me. 

He kept up the pace with me.

Typos aside sometimes in my head the sentence sounds fine without the article. Sometimes it even sounds okay when I read it aloud. This is why I know I have to have help in some form of revision, whether its a program or another person.

My advice about missing articles:

Even if they sound okay to be missing grammar should always be perfect in the narrative. It’s okay in the dialogue, but use that with caution. An educated person would speak correctly in the eyes of the reader. 

-Sheryl

Copyright © 2018 All rights reserved

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Nominalization – Style #5

Nominalization

Last but not least for the category of STYLE. I’m wordy so this one is important to me. I tend to add unnecessary words where they’re unneeded. I find them where I could easily be restructured to become a simpler sentence. I had a count of 127 errors in writing Style. If you missed a previous blog, you can click on the purple link here that is crossed out to see that blog post.

Within STYLE are the following issues I had in my story:

1. Unclear Antecedent .
2. Capitalization at the start of a sentence .
3. Incorrect Spacing .
4. Incorrect Spacing with punctuation .
5. Incorrect verb form .
6. Inflated Phrase .
7. Wordiness .
8. Nominalization

 

In the last blog, I talked about Inflated Phrase and Wordiness. Nominalization is similar to them.  I only had one incident of Nominalization show up.

I’m going to defer to Grammarly’s explanation for Normalization:

Usually, we use verbs to talk about actions. But many verbs have noun counterparts that refer to actions. These noun counterparts are called nominalizations. Using nominalizations often results in long phrases like make a decision instead of decide or put forward a suggestion instead of suggest. These phrases can weigh down your writing and make it harder for your readers to understand what you’re saying. A single verb is usually more expressive than a phrase.

nomilization1

The character is actually speaking to a group of people so I would need to keep that in mind when correcting this.

“So you state that you saw nothing.”

This would actually work for a group or just one person. This is very similar to wordiness and inflated phrase.

Since I only have one of my own examples to use I’ll give a couple more.

Wordy This instruction may cause confusion for our students.
Concise This instruction may confuse our students.

Wordy Tony gave his lover a glance.
Concise Tony glanced at his lover.

My advice about nominalization:

Simplify your writing to make it more clear. While it may ‘feel’ like you’re being professional or intelligent it’s unnecessary to complicate things. 

-Sheryl

Copyright © 2018 All rights reserved

That’s A Lot Of Extra Unnecessary Words – Style #4

That's A Lot Of Extra Unnecessary WordsI had a count of 127 errors in writing Style. If you missed a previous blog, you can click on the purple link here that is crossed out to see that blog post.

Within STYLE are the following issues I had in my story:

1. Unclear Antecedent .
2. Capitalization at the start of a sentence .
3. Incorrect Spacing .
4. Incorrect Spacing with punctuation .
5. Incorrect verb form .
6. Inflated Phrase
7. Wordiness
8. Nominalization

I’m going to talk about Inflated Phrase and Wordiness. Let’s start with Inflated Phrase.

I only had one of these come up, yay!verb4

If I’m concerned about word count finding these little beauties will help. From three words down to two “By means of” can easily be replaced with “using.”

How is Inflated Phrase different from wordiness? An inflated Phrase is a group of words often used together that could easily be replaced by one more efficient words.  “a number of” can be replaced with “Many” or “some” or an actual number like “six.” Wordiness is the overuse of superfluous words. A wordy sentence may be grammatically correct, but they are too full and can be annoying to read. Simplify.

Let’s look at my Wordiness examples.

wordiness1

The correction offered is okay.

Two women were checking him out as he walked away oblivious.

Except for one thing. I personally like to avoid “ing.” So I would change it further.

Two women checked him out as he walked away oblivious.

This simplified the sentence greatly. It reduced word count too. Let’s look at another.

11 words
wordiness2

The suggestion is okay, and it brings the sentence down to 9 words.

Getting too close to someone like Jim was dangerous.

Once again it is an “ing” issue for me. Sometimes an “ing” word is necessary, but I rely on them too much, and they become a “Filter Word” of sorts. For this sentence, I would keep the “ing” word. It works, and I like how it reads. I would, however, change one more word. “Was”

Getting too close to someone like Jim is dangerous.

It’s a small thing but keeping flow is important. I often swap was and is, it’s okay but for this sentence ‘is’ works better since it’s not a ‘past’ issue it’s a current or potential issue.

My advice about inflated phrases or wordiness:

Cutting unnecessary words out or replacing them with more efficient words will strengthen your writing and tighten up the sentence. It will give the reader a more pleasant experience. 

-Sheryl

Copyright © 2018 All rights reserved

Capitalization Space Case – Style #2

Capitalization Space Case

I had a count of 127 errors in Style. Most of them were Unclear Antecedent’s which I covered in the last blog. If you missed a previous blog, you can click on the purple link here that is crossed out to see that blog post. I’m not sure how I can fit the word prompt in for today’s post. I don’t own a dog of any pedigree nor do I buy pedigree dog food. Oh well, I’ll just continue with today’s post about my editing and revising fun.

Within STYLE are the following issues I had in my story:

1. Unclear Antecedent .
2. Capitalization at the start of a sentence
3. Incorrect Spacing
4. Incorrect Spacing with punctuation
5. Incorrect verb form
6. Inflated Phrase
7. Wordiness
8. Nominalization

I’m going to cover three STYLE issues on this blog since they are simple and most likely typo’s. These are easy to spot and easy to fix.

Capitalization at the start of a sentence
Incorrect Spacing
Incorrect Spacing with punctuation

All the examples are real and from my new book Prophecy (Names may be changed for example purposes). I took one sentence an put all three errors in it. The error notice from Grammarly is condensed on the right and can each be expanded, which I will show before the corrections.

111aFirst is Capitalization at the start of a sentence a simple grammar rule, but easily done by a typo. All spell check programs even word processors should catch this one. Heck, even I caught them when I proofread.

111b

Ray had to get back to work. There was an angry man  in a hardhat and safety vest was calling him .

Next is Incorrect Spacing. Another easy one to spot unless it’s at the beginning of a sentence or after punctuation. They might not show them as an error but are easily spotted by a proofread.
111c

Ray had to get back to work. There was an angry man  in a hardhat and safety vest was calling him .

The last is Incorrect Spacing with punctuation. This will be caught if it’s before or in the middle of punctuation. Extra spaces after a period are not always caught by programs because some people still write with double spaces. Single space at the end of a sentence is industry standard.

111d

Ray had to get back to work. There was an angry man in a hardhat and safety vest was calling him.

There the sentence is now correct. I know these are rookie mistakes and I know I make them because I’m not an accurate typer and my brain goes faster than I can type. That’s okay, it’s foolish to think I’m perfect, I don’t.

My advice about capitalization at the start of a sentence, incorrect spacing and incorrect spacing with punctuation:

Simple errors to make and simple to fix. No big deal. They are however important, if they show up in a manuscript that is submitted to a literary agent, it will very likely get your query tossed into the NO pile.

-Sheryl

Copyright © 2018 All rights reserved
Pedigree

His Unclear Antecedent – Style #1

His Unclear Antecedent

Coming in at an error rate of 127 in my draft, next up for discussion is Style. To be fair the book is over 79000 words so it’s not like I have that many errors in comparison to say, 30000 words. Most of my errors are typo’s or me just getting ahead of my rapid fingers when writing. I tend to get the story down with the intention of going back and fixing things later. If I focus on writing perfectly as I write, I get frustrated or lose my thought. Grammerly 1Contextual Spelling: 349
Grammer: 212
Punctuation: 999+ (Um that’s embarrassing)
Sentence Structure: 19
Style: 127
Vocabulary Enhancement: 267

Within STYLE are the following issues I found in my story:

1. Unclear Antecedent
2. Capitalization at the start of a sentence
3. Incorrect Spacing
4. Incorrect Spacing with punctuation
5. Incorrect verb form
6. Inflated Phrase
7. Wordiness
8. Nominalization

An unclear antecedent in writing is a word that refers to a  clause, phrase, sentence or another word.

In my case, it’s the referral of him, he, his, her, hers etc.

With Grammarly, it provides a box to the right with the ‘issue’ often with a suggestion on how to correct the error. Once the error is corrected this box will disappear. At the bottom there are two options, ignore (Because sometimes what I’ve written is what I want despite the ‘error’)

antecedent6

In case I need more information there is a handy ‘more’ tab that will explain what the problem is. It’s also good to have some examples if you’re not sure.

antecedent7

Now for some examples of my writing that needed some TLC in the style department.

Just ignore the fact that the next example is just horrible all around. This one has three unclear antecedent’s. They and they’re. In context, it is clear who I’m referring to, but I would make it more clear and fix this entirely since it sucks.
antecedent2“I don’t need the second one. The company isn’t locking the system because they want me to snoop, and now they’re on the way.”

by replacing the first ‘they’ it became clear who I was referring to.

antecedent1This was going to be hilarious. The pigeon pecked the man’s hand hard and he

By changing ‘his’ to ‘the man’s’ it gave a better referral to whose hand it is. In that example, I cant use a name since he is a stranger being observed from afar. His name will come up later.

The following is out of context. In this conversation, they are explicitly talking about the main character’s sister.
antecedent4
I actually ignored this since I don’t need to change it. This is why it’s important to think about what changes are being suggested and why there is an ‘ignore’ option to the Grammarly check.

If I were going to change it, this one is simple.

“No, I do not. I’m sorry, but this is hard. Close or not Anne was my sister.”

It’s easy to fix an unclear antecedent. This was the most common mistake I made in Style. A lot of them I ‘ignored’ because within dialogue it was clear who I was referring to, however by grammar standards it wasn’t clear on a sentence by sentence basis. Something horrible would happen if I corrected all of them for the sake of ‘rules’ I would have characters saying peoples names in every single sentence. I would have names in every sentence of narrative. That is annoying especially if within the conversation or paragraph I was already clear.

My advice about Unclear Antecedent:

Not easy to spot without a proofreader or program to find them. They are not all necessarily bad or actually unclear. Read and reread out loud before making these changes and always read the entire paragraph, conversation block or the sentence before and after to determine just how unclear it actually is.

-Sheryl

Copyright © 2018 All rights reserved

Rapid