Show and tell

Emotions are something we deal with constantly everyday. When I first started writing I told the emotions instead of showing them. ‘She was angry.’ This was lazy and hard to read. I read blogs, articles and some of the books out there such as Master lists for writers and the Emotion thesaurus. Why? Because showing emotion is a lot harder than saying it. Also because emotion generally fell within conversation and ended up at taglines. I read blogs, books and articles Learning more every time.

Here is a telling emotional conversation from my rough draft.

“Are you calling me stupid?” Erin said angrily.

Sam was glad the beds were between them and felt brave for some strange reason.

“No, but you’re acting it.” Sam said forcefully. She did not want to do this, but she was committed and had had enough of her nasty attitude.

“Insult me again Sam and you’ll be sorry.”

“I won’t be sorry Erin, because I didn’t insult you.”

“You did!” Erin shouted angrily.

“No, I said your actions were stupid.”

“It’s the same dammed thing.” She growled.

 As discussed in Tag you’re it this is a rough draft loaded with taglines and I’m telling the emotion not showing it. This is hard to read. Here is the correction.

 “Are you calling me stupid?” Erin took a step forward curling her lips back.

Sam glanced down at the two beds between them. “No, but you’re acting it.” She squared her feet and locked eyes.

This was not an ideal situation. Exhaustion and stress were wearing them all down. Tolerance for Erin’s rude comments is wearing thin.

“Insult me again and you’ll be sorry.”

“I won’t be sorry, because I didn’t insult you.” Sam took a deep breath exhaling slowly.

“You did!”

“No Erin. I said your actions were stupid.”

“It’s the same dammed thing.” Erin clenched and shook her fist slightly.

Emotions are hard to show, the key is to take a moment to think about how you feel and what do you do when you are excited? Do you jump up and down clapping your hands melodramatically? Does everyone? Not likely. There are those that do, but usually its things such as grinning, smiling, whooping, punching the air or clenching fists under the chin and hunching your shoulders. Everyone reacts differently and it’s important that your characters do too. Sam stays calm and defensive. Erin is prone to aggression and rage. However when Sam gets upset she reacts by walking away or pursing her lips while Erin would insult or lash out. Someone else might strike out physically without provocation.

My advice about emotions.
Like actions, they need to be shown not told. Watch others, ask others how they react to emotions. If you’re stumped try a resource, there are some great books out there that have better ideas.

While tricky, showing emotion draws the reader in and creates empathy. People read to experience a story so give them one to dive into.

-Sheryl

More about taglines
Tag! You’re it.

My thoughts on Filter words
No “Filter Word” Parking Here

Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved

What happened to that guy?

The forgotten character who hasn’t spoken in chapters. Yeah, I know, sometimes people are forgettable. That is a problem. Now I have to bring them back into the storyline.

This has happened to me twice. I will admit it because this is an opportunity in my opinion. If I’ve neglected them it’s for a reason. I have imagined the story progressing without them. I figure out why and then find a solution. Are they boring? Not enough personality? Are they crucial to the story? Do they complicate things unnecessarily?

For me, it’s a chance to spice someone up or darken their edges. Make them more likely to insult, or cower or perhaps say something funny. A good villain can be born from dialogue neglect. If I’ve neglected them maybe my characters have neglected him too. Make it an issue in the story. I could go back and make them moody or shy. The options are endless.

My advice about inadvertently leaving a character behind.

In my opinion, a flat character is your chance to shake it up. If all else fails, kill them in a relevant way to the plot or main character development. That way the reader won’t be asking “what happened to Bob?” Because they will know. Bob stepped into traffic and was hit by a car. He was sad and distracted about Juan ignoring him for three freaking chapters. Now Juan is riddled with remorse.

-Sheryl

 

Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved

To live life: Do what makes you feel alive.

I often find myself thinking about working on my book. Whether it’s writing or editing,  I enjoy it immensely. Daily I tuck situations or conversation tidbits away for future reference. I can’t help it. Would that work for the antagonist? What if my protagonist had someone talk to her that way? I find inspiration everywhere and it has really opened my eyes. I see more, I hear more and I pay better attention.

I have had the questions come up, “How can you work on it so much?” or “Why do you spend so much time writing?” (and variations on that theme)

The answer is simple and it’s easy to explain in context. I look at the person asking and I think about something they do in their spare time that they love more than anything else. Whether it’s reading, playing video games, fishing, dancing or whatever they do a lot of. I then say, “You know that feeling you get when you –fill in the blank-? It’s the same thing for me when I’m writing or editing my books.” It is okay if they don’t understand, they don’t have to.

When I’m passionate about something it’s a thrill to see it through. I’ve had more than a few hobbies and many ebb and flow in my desire to partake, but once I found my literary confidence I find my craving for writing is steady.

My advice about doing what you love.
To put it simply I love what I do and do what I love. That is honestly what I believe the point of it all to be. Whether it’s writing or snowboarding or stand-up comedy, if you become excited thinking about something and it fills you with joy, don’t ignore it or let others drag you down. If you are fortunate enough to discover your passion run with it. Do what makes you feel alive.

-Sheryl

 

 

Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved

 

Spell check doesn’t catch them all.

If the wonk is actually correct, Spell Check doesn’t catch your misty.

When it comes to checking spelling I had to read it myself. I also had someone else read it too. This is where a copyeditor can come in handy if you can, want or are able to go that route.

I’m not saying that spell check is not helpful, it does point out the obvious errors. However, spell checking is more than looking for the red squiggly lines, its making sure that the words are appropriately used.

For example: And and an.
Yes, I typed that right. Even though spell check hates the heck out of it. 😉 Back on track.
Pepperoni an olive.
Pepperoni and olive.

Spell check didn’t have an issue with either option. Neither did grammar check (Blue squiggles). I am cautious when using spell check to correct my work, there can be words that look similar to what I want but are not even close.

One misspell or typo: Wunder gives me a choice of; Wonder, Winder, Wander, Under, and Wonders.  If I choose wrong, it will be “correct”.

My writing was littered with words like this. They are mostly typo’s that got away with existing because they are actually words. Not the right one, but a word none the less.

Spell check wont catch them all, they are not Pokémon. (Although spell check will correct the spelling of Pokémon.) I found reading out loud helps. Yes, I sound like a crazy loon reading to myself, but it totally worked for me. I had to learn to read slow and clearly otherwise I’d just skip over the errors.

One would think admitting to errors, many errors, is cause for embarrassment. I don’t think that way. I’m only human and I make mistakes. It doesn’t matter if I make one mistake or a thousand, because I have the time, patience and will to fix them. I found it easier to write what I need to say and stop worrying about the little things along the way. I did catch many as I worked but I didn’t sweat the every single one.

My advice about spell check.

I think of my self as competent at spelling and catching typos. I still found many mistakes even after the fifth or sixth revision. If you are not a confident speller, don’t rely on the spell check to catch them all, get outside help. That help can be a friend, relative or someone you hire such as a Copyeditor.

-Sheryl

 

 

Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved

Copyediting. Why I didn’t pay someone to destroy my fragile confidence.

My book is my baby. I love it, I created it and I’ve nurtured it. Now it needs to be cleaned up and ready to present. At first, I thought about hiring someone to edit my book for me. I wasn’t in a confidence place yet to open up and ask anyone I knew to do this. I was well aware that my manuscript needed a lot of tender loving care. A lot.

It seemed a daunting task so I began the arduous search on-line for copy editors.

What is a copy editor? They will read my manuscript, check for spelling and grammar errors. They will check my sentence structure for filter words and for flow, for continuity and plot holes (They might not call it that.) They don’t do this for free. I also found out after contacting a bunch that they will rip apart my manuscript. Tear it to shreds. So much that looks like they massacred a red pen or ten and hid the evidence on the pages.
I wasn’t ready to have someone apply their opinion and style to my work, I may never be.

For 136,000 words approx. (Keep in mind this is way over the max allowable word count, and before I revised it even once.) I received quotes from $2000 to $3500 Canadian for a basic copyedit. I even had one say unless I’m a master Russian author there was no way my book was good at that word count. How rude! That was a great criticism. Really it was because he pointed me in the right direction of word count reduction, which leads me down the right path of editing for me.

So I thought about this cost and what they do long and hard. I thought about it as I read through and spell/grammar checked my messy work. If I got a copy editor to revise my manuscript, it would no doubt be torn to shreds with a red pen. Then what? I fix it and have to have them revise again? That just got twice as expensive. I don’t have thousands of dollars to throw around. Nor was I comfortable with the idea of becoming dependent on someone’s idea of how my book should be. Mostly it was a cost issue.

I made two decisions. The first to take all of my spare time, and edit it myself. I do not have a degree in English so this was a slow and careful task. (Still in progress FYI)
The second. When I’m done editing as far as I can go and I don’t get any bites from Literary Agents in one year, I will revisit the option of hiring a copy editor. (I will write about my experiences surrounding Literary Agents in future blogs don’t worry.)

With every revision, I became more excited. It is shaping up and reading well. I can’t express how rewarding it is to work so hard on something that means so much. It wasn’t as scary or daunting as I first thought, and to be perfectly honest it allowed me to hone the story and make it more streamline. There are sequels to this, my first book, so I was able to go back and plant little foreshadow nuggets. I am glad the sticker shock forced me to re-evaluate my thinking.

My advice about Copy Editors.

If you need them and can afford it, it is your choice. I know they are very helpful.
In hindsight, I’m glad I didn’t. I feel pride in all the work I’ve put into my manuscript. I could not justify paying someone thousands of dollars to tear apart my manuscript. Just remember nobody can tell you paying for help is right or wrong, if you need help get it. Free or paid is nobody else’s business. Just be careful and check their references first, check to see if they are legit or a swindler. You are hiring them to read and revise your work. Make sure they are the right person/s to do that.

-Sheryl

 

Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved

No “Filter Word” Parking Here

Who knew some simple and overused words can cause a sentence to flop. I didn’t until I found out that I was plagued by them. Filter words are words that are useless and often change the tone of the sentence or even put it in the wrong perspective. They filter the sentence through the point of view of the character and it makes for awkward reading.  It’s a lot like parallel parking. You have a beautiful street with perfectly parked cars. Then along comes a couple rusty lemons that cram on in there, crooked and parked to close to the bumpers of other cars. It’s annoying, unsightly and can cause problems.

Example: Phillip saw the motorbike go by way too fast and thought it was so loud, he felt it in his teeth.
Filter words:  saw, way, thought, and felt.
Correction: The sound of the engine vibrated Phillips teeth as the motorbike sped by.
From 21 words to 13. It may not be how you would rewrite it, but that’s okay.

Clearly, they can be a pain. So what did I do about them?

First, I searched for lists of Filter words, super easy to do.
Second, I used the search feature and one by one went through finding all of them. I evaluated the sentence and either removed, replaced or rewrote the sentence. This took weeks to do.

After a while, I would come across a sentence like the example above. I learned to recognize the poorly parked words, and pull them all out all at once. There were times when I would revisit a sentence a few times because of different words and I would laugh at myself, fix it properly, and keep going.

This filter word removal was incredibly useful. It allowed me to see and familiarize myself with the useless words and learn not to use them. (That’s the theory, I’ll probably still use them.) I was able to take my word count down to a reasonable level by removing and replacing these words.

Here are some of the ones I overused.

Saw – 139
Thought – 212
Know – 414 (knowing, Know, and knows)
See – 244 (Seen, seeing, sees)
Had – 653

I discovered the trick with filter words is to go right to the root. Instead of searching all the variables as with Know, knowing, known, knows, I only searched “Know” and got them all. So for, looked, looks and looking I searched “look”. You get the idea. Tedious yes, but man, it was fun to shape and reshape my sentences.

Did I have to get rid of all of them? No of course not, just the ones that snuck in and didn’t belong. I still have a few to go through, however, they are minor and seem to be within a conversation. As long as it’s how that character speaks I’m fine leaving them.

My advice about filter words.

I found it easier to use the “find” feature, and search and repair one by one. Don’t sweat them as you write I didn’t. This is part of what I call the “shampoo process of editing”. I can’t speak for other writers, but by the end, you might just find a bunch of unwanted words parked in your sentences. Don’t worry about it, they will help you write better as you pull them out. At least they did for me.

-Sheryl

 

Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved